The world is divided into two camps: those who believe nothing wakes you up like a cold toilet seat in the morning and those that prefer to drink coffee. If you fall firmly into the coffee camp, you have our sympathies. A cold toilet seat may not appear to be a massive problem in the grand scheme of world pain. But how much more harmonious would humanity be if we began the day less grouchy?
The time-honored solution to a cold toilet seat is holding your bladder and going second. Failing that, people quickly warm toilet seats by:
- Make Sock Covers
- Buy A Heated Seat
- Buy A Wooden Seat
- Use A Hairy Dryer
- Import A Japanese Toilet
- Seat Warmers
- Covers
- And more…
Yes, there are obvious solutions, such as popping a squat and hovering over the thing. But listen, we need to be awake before partaking in a workout. Nor is moving to a warmer climate all that quick or helpful (although, to be fair, once you’ve done it, your toilet seat woes are fixed). You need solutions that can be implemented tomorrow or as soon as Amazon Prime delivers.
10 Best Ways To Warm Up A Toilet Seat
We’ve consulted the hive-mind of toilet warming enthusiasts to bring you the 10 best ways to warm up a toilet seat. Alas, there is no perfect solution; they all have pros and cons. Some toilet seat warming hacks cost a pretty penny, others are ethically dubious, and some just don’t work all that well. It all depends on your budget, morals, and where you draw the line regarding hygiene.
In the end, it is your backside, and you must choose what works best for you.
1. Make Somebody Else Use The Toilet First
Since the dawn of toilet seats, there has been the cold toilet seat solution of waiting it out until somebody else uses the toilet first. It works a treat; all it requires is superior bladder control and not living alone (sorry, singles. Maybe train a cat?)
Pros: Inexpensive, environmentally friendly
Cons: Requires superior bladder control, manipulation, and you might be subjected to unsavory smells
Verdict: Highly effective, but ethically dubious, even if you train your neighbor’s cat rather than a child
2. Make Toilet Seat Sock Covers
Toilet seat sock covers are a solution that involves crafts. It also works better if you have a toilet with a “break” in the seat, so you don’t have to take the toilet seat on and off every time you want to change the socks.
If you have a seat with a gap in the front, it is easy: Slip a long tube suck on either side of the seat. Ta-da, not crafts involved
If you need to take the seat off, you’ll have to cut the bottom of each sock. Also, you might have to sew a hem, or it will unravel.
Pros: Relatively inexpensive, works better than putting toilet paper on the seat
Cons: Requires constant washing, or it becomes disgusting
Verdict: Mildly effective, slightly gross, depending on the washing routine
3. Buy A Heated Toilet Seat
Buying a heated toilet seat solves the problem of the morning bum-chill. Unfortunately, they are not the cheapest things out there and, due to their electricity usage, are not the most earth-friendly solution.
Pros: Works brilliantly
Cons: Expensive, not environmentally friendly, requires access to an electrical outlet
Verdict: Highly effective, but not practical for some due to cost
4. Buy A Wooden Toilet Seat
Toilet seats are made from various materials, and some are more thermally conductive than others. Porcelain, ceramic, glass, metal, and most plastic are pretty cold. However, wooden toilet seats do not conduct heat away from the body as efficiently, thus feel warmer
Pros: Doesn’t use electricity, easy to clean
Cons: It doesn’t make it warm, just not freezing cold and harms trees
Verdict: A solution for people that live in milder climates
5. Use Your Hair Dryer To Warm The Toilet Seat
Turning a hairdryer on high and blasting the seat will warm it up. However, depending on where your outlets are placed, you might require an extension cord. It is also loud, potentially making you an unpopular person in your household. Other drawbacks include the time it takes, and the blasting air might be moving germs from the toilet into the air.
Pros: It works
Cons: Loud, takes time, may require an extension cord, and you might be spreading pathogens
Verdict: It works but takes time you might not have to spare
6. Import A Japanese Toilet
The Japanese are kings of porcelain thrones. Their toilets are the stuff of legends. They are probably more technologically advanced than many smartphones. This includes the handy feature of staying warm. You can even have warm air blown against your sensitive bits.
Short of spending thousands to import one or move to Japan, there are more budget-friendly versions on Amazon. These less flashy ones still warm the seat, wash your delicate region, and dry it off using heated air.
Pros: Keeps everything warm and eliminates the need for toilet paper
Cons: Pricey, requires electricity, may require a programming degree to use
Verdict: Highly effective but complicated
7. Install A Toilet Seat Warmer
Toilet seat warmers are generally cheaper than a heated toilet seat and are more practical than standing there with a hairdryer. They require electricity but don’t blow air around, which eliminates the fear of sending pathogens into the air.
Toilet seat warmers come in a few styles. Some are fitted to the lid of the toilet, which might be more hygienic but requires the household’s cooperation to “put the lid down.” Others are installed on the underside of the seat, which won’t work on some models.
Pros: Cheaper than buying a heated toilet seat
Cons: Still uses electricity, not as warm as a heated toilet seat, requires household cooperation
Verdict: Takes the edge off and doesn’t require you to wait
8. Buy A Toilet Seat Cover
Toilet seat covers come in a variety, and some might suit better than others. Some are essentially the upmarket sock method, requiring frequent washing. Some versions go on the lid, which some find more hygienic since you don’t sit on it, but require household cooperation. Others are like a rug for the seat, which might gross some people out. Others are hygienic, wipeable, but less “cozy.”
Pros: Inexpensive, requires no electricity
Cons: They don’t “warm,” only prevent freezing chill, also hygienically dubious
Verdict: Not the warmest or cleanest option, but one of the cheaper solutions
9. Pour Hot Water On The Toilet Seat
Pouring hot water onto the seat or applying it via a washcloth will quickly warm up the seat. It will also leave it moist but potentially cleaner.
Pros: Fairly quick and effective, and cleans the seat
Cons: Leaves the seat moist and quickly cools
Verdict: Less noise than the hairdryer method and cleans the seat, but kind of clammy
10. Place A Heated Towel Rack By The Toilet
Want warm towels and a warmer toilet seat? Place a heated towel rack by your toilet. This will take the edge off the toilet’s chill, warm the room, and provide cozy towels.
Pros: Multitasking solution
Cons: At this price, you might as well get a fancy toilet seat
Verdict: Moderately effective, but a great option if you want warm towels too
Conclusion
Cold toilet seats are a brutal method of waking up in the morning. We hope one of our ten solutions makes it easier to start your day.
Amos Christen graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Interior Design from Drexel University — Philadelphia, PA. Since 2003, Amos has worked with top interior design professionals in this area, including architects and interior/graphic/lighting designers. As a skilled interior designer, Amos Christen is highly versed in fine arts and crafts and uses that to supplement his main area of expertise. He often publishes articles related to home décor on several websites, including Sprucetoilets.com, Sprucebathroom.com, and Mybesuitedhome.com. He also contributes to leading interior design magazines.